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Originally, this page was
designed to tout (and probably inflate) all of my virtues by using the
testimonies of some of my most influential clients. I'm probably not alone in
feeling a little uncomfortable with that, and after giving it some thought I
decided the most relevant testimonial I have is my own.
The dictionary defines
"testimonial" as "a written declaration certifying to a person's character, conduct, or qualifications, or to the value,
excellence of a thing". Any excellence or qualifications that I may have,
both musical and ethical can be tied directly to how God has entered into
and changed my life. So, here is my testimonial:
Upon completion of High School,
I went directly into the Navy. I had continued playing drums while in the Navy
as a way to get out of other forms of duty. Upon discharge, I tried College for
awhile but it became clear to me that my destiny was not to be found through
education, but rather in "rock and roll". (It seemed like a divine calling at the
time.) So I began to follow those pursuits with great zeal. By '77, I was
beginning to burn out, and while playing in Miami, met the girl who would turn
out to be my wife. Honey sang in a band that a friend of mine played in. We were
married shortly after meeting, and soon after had our only
child, Nicole, who was born on May 30th, 1978. Through the years I have worked
non-stop as a musician. I'm very thankful for that. The older I get the
more appreciative I am for the gift of music. But of all of the experiences that
I could share, the most profound is that, simply stated, in the spring of 1990,
God made Himself known to me. Realizing who I am as a child of God is by far the
most profound and life changing event that has ever happened to me. So here's
how that all came about.
I was brought up as a Catholic.
We went to church regularly, and as far as I know we pretty much fulfilled our
obligations as Catholics. I had heard all of the stuff that Christianity is all
about...."Christ died on the cross for our sins", etc., but it never
really clicked with me. As a child, I just remember church as being
uncomfortable and irrelevant. So when I no longer had to go, I didn't. My
opinion of God was formed by those early church experiences along with how I had
seen Christianity portrayed on television and media.
I had decided that I really did not want to be part of that sort of thing
and I was quite content to avoid any serious thought about who God really was.
Being immersed in the musicians
lifestyle, I adopted the "if it feels good, do it.... as long as your not
hurting anybody" mentality. Then in '81 my wife suddenly had a
“conversion
experience” with God. I thought it was just a phase that I would have to
endure until she outgrew it. She was constantly reading the Bible and began
singing in church and playing with musicians that had shared the same
experience. Suddenly I had all these fanatical Christian musicians around me
telling me "Jesus loves you". I politely tolerated them. Meanwhile, my mother also began reading the Bible and had a renewed zeal about who God was. Then my
younger brother, and then my sister. It seemed like everywhere I turned I ran
into people who were trying to tell me about Jesus. But the more I heard, the
more I resisted. I felt that I was above all of that... they were apparently just weak and
needed some sort of crutch.
By 1990 I still hadn't softened
to the whole "Jesus" thing. My stepfather, who had been struggling
with throat cancer for a several years, also had become one of these zealous
Christians. After a long drawn out fight, he died on good Friday, 1990. My mom
insisted that I come to the funeral in Texas, so I flew to Texas and was there
when Easter morning arrived. Since it was Easter, mom asked me to go to church.
I hadn't been to a church in over 25 yrs., but to comfort her, I agreed. I
don’t really remember much about that morning, only that the thrust of the
message was about "doubting" Thomas. The only thing that really stuck
with me was the Pastor saying "If there are any of you out there who are
doubters, I 'double dang dare' you to
read the Gospel of John three times". For some reason those words stuck
with me. I had no idea what the Gospel of John was, but if I could read it three times I would
supposedly have no more doubts. And if I did have doubts, at least I could say that I gave
it a good shot, it didn't work, and now I could get all of these people off of
my back about this Christianity deal. When I announced to my mom that I was
going to take the Pastor up on his challenge, she warned me that the Bible was
hard to understand and I should pray and ask God to help me to understand.
All other attempts to get me to read the Bible had failed, but for whatever
reason, this seemed like something I could follow through with.
On the way home, sitting on the
plane alone, I took mom's advice and made my first serious attempt to pray to
God. It was extremely clumsy because at that point I was praying to a God that I
wasn’t sure existed. I basically said "I don't even know if you are out
there, but I'm going to give this Gospel of John thing a go, and if you are out
there, let me know it... Reveal Yourself to me".
When I got home and told my wife
my plan, she gave me an "easy reading" version of the Bible. Up till
then, I had no idea what the Gospel of
John was. I figured it was a 1 or 2 page thing that I could breeze through a few
times, and then sit back and let God do His magic. I began reading
and as I continued to read I sensed that this was not just some fairy
tale or myth. In a way that transcended intellect or reason, I began to know
that Jesus was for real. Jesus was no longer some legendary character from
centuries past. Deep in my heart, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was
real, and that He wanted nothing more than to have a relationship
with me. So, on April 19th, 1990 I gave myself to Him for that very reason. In the past when people would say “God loves you, Jay”, it meant
nothing. But now I realized… GOD LOVES ME!! That simple fact has radically
changed the way I live. God loves us and He has a plan and purpose for each of
our lives. Because I believe this to be true, I encourage you to take God up on
His challenge. No matter where you find yourself... "if from there you
seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your
heart and with all your soul." - Deuteronomy 4:29
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